


Hesitance is, in itself, an answer.

by WhoopsWhatDidIDoNow



Category: Dragon Age, Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angry Lavellan (Dragon Age), Angst, But only for parts of Solas' romance, But she's more angry than sad, Canon Compliant, F/M, Hurt No Comfort, Lavellan/Solas Angst (Dragon Age), Light Angst, Not Beta Read, Slight Dragon Age: Inquisition Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-19
Updated: 2019-08-19
Packaged: 2020-09-07 18:22:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20313955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhoopsWhatDidIDoNow/pseuds/WhoopsWhatDidIDoNow
Summary: "Hindsight was a priest, and she was a repentant sinner."





	Hesitance is, in itself, an answer.

Her questions had been quiet, often silent, but they had been questions.

His answers had been subtle, often disguised, but they had been answers.

Her ego wouldn't allow her to admit the truth, which was that she had ignored and dismissed every answer she got, her vain heart wishing for a response he wasn't ready or willing to give. Instead, she insisted she knew he had given her an answer. Insisted that she had merely wished it to be untrue, regardless of any feeling or thought that lingered to tell her he was part of the rule, not the exception. The insistence was her damaged pride speaking, she knew. It was trying to find somewhere to lick her wounds in private, away from the danger of exposing and reopening them. Only, her attempt to shield herself didn't work, and nobody was fooled like she had been. She left his behaviour unquestioned, his reluctance not thought of.

Predators rarely take time to think about why prey runs.

Hindsight was a priest and she was a repentant sinner. Mistakes she made, clues she ignored, everything that had slipped past her notice now stood before her as evidence to her self-regard. She had been so wrapped up in the feelings, how special she felt, how he had seemed a shelter from the chaos. She should have given up at that first sign. Should have turned tail and run, while her dignity was still intact. She had ignored all those opportunities, from the very beginning.

'I will stay for now.'

From that very first conversation he had hesitated. He hadn't even wanted to stay then, his only promise being to stay until they closed the breach. He had given her an answer before she had even asked the question, and it served only to highlight her foolishness that she hadn't even noticed.

'We shouldn't.'

The glaring red flags he had flown seemed like white flags of surrender under the scrutiny of her rose tinted glasses. And she had so nearly been saved from the crawling embarrassment she was to bear. She had kissed him in a burst of confidence and was prepared to walk away and spare her pride when he stood unmoving against her lips. In reeling her back in, he had simultaneously provided her the answer she was looking for and ruined any chance of her walking away. Even the following retraction of that answer, the replacement of it by something else, was ignored in favour of the confusion of the fade.

'The kiss was impulsive and ill-considered, and I should not have encouraged it.'

His feeble attempt to backtrack didn't stand a chance against her blinded heart. She had mistaken the growl of the wolf for a whine of fear, and in doing so ignored the threat within it. He couldn't even give her a plain yes when she had tried to start their relationship. If anybody thought she wasn't a fool for chasing him after that, then they were just as foolish.

'Don't go.'

Solas had turned from her on the balcony. He wanted to leave and she should have let him go. But she was not that way, she could not release him now she was sure she had him. If she hadn't heeded the warning of him trying to deter her interest, then there was no chance she could possibly even notice the implications of his attempts to run away.

It was a cruel joke, in the end, that the only thing he hadn't hesitated to do was break her heart. He had taken her pride in her vallaslin, in her heritage. It was fitting, in a cruel sort of way. The thing that marked her an adult and the control over her life from being one, both ruined in an instant.

In short, she had forgotten that hesitance was, in itself, an answer.

She chased a sheep, only for it to reveal itself as a wolf.

But she was a wolf too.

And if he wasn't going to hunt with her pack,

then he was going to **starve**.

**Author's Note:**

> I have never actually played through a Solas romance myself, but I know plenty about it and I thought it that the many ways Lavellan could react to the breakup, especially off-screen was an interesting thing to explore, so thank you for indulging me and reading.


End file.
